“I used to be afraid,” she informed me. However then a chaplain got here and talked to her and my father, and eventually, she informed my father: no extra. She informed him he may nonetheless hope, and she or he would hope, too, for a miracle. However within the meantime, she mentioned she felt prepared and she or he wanted him to be together with her. She mentioned her angel had been in her room all week; she may see him as clearly as she may see me now. I considered how in Cambodia demise is simply the tip of a cycle, making area to begin over again.
I helped her to the bathroom and she or he pointed to her C-section scars, all 4 of them. Then she requested if I had one. I unbuttoned my denims, pulled them down barely. “They’ve gotten higher, haven’t they?” she mentioned. That is the place we meet, girls and our our bodies. I informed her the story of my daughter’s start in Bangkok and she or he mentioned, “I like that story, Rache.” I sank right down to my knees on the ground, laid my head on her hospital mattress beside her hip. She put her hand on me.
Then she mentioned, “Can I speak to you concerning the Lord? I simply must as a result of he’s my life.”
I nodded.
Jesus was on her proper aspect at that second and her guardian angel was on her left. She may see them. They didn’t speak, besides as soon as to say that all the pieces can be all proper. She simply wished me to know she may see them, her angel and her Jesus, that they’d come to assist her on her journey to wherever and no matter got here subsequent.
I nodded, listening. I believed her. In fact I did. We journey with our ghosts. Who higher to steer us to what comes subsequent? Our subsequent life, our heaven, the start of a daughter, a brand new mom, an outdated one.
I understood then. She wasn’t telling me a narrative of Christianity or religion or spirituality. She wasn’t even telling me a narrative about God. She was simply telling me a love story. And I used to be a part of it.
Rachel Louise Snyder (@RLSWrites), a professor at American College, is the creator of the forthcoming memoir “Girls We Buried, Girls We Burned.”
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